Kentwood Bound!

Brit Brit Spears is boarding the Cheeto plane bound for Kentwood, LA this afternoon! UsWeekly reports that Brit is going back home to help Jamie Lynn give birth and she could stay for at least a month. When asked for comment, SPF and JJ replied, “GOOD MITTENS!”

Yesterday in court, The Commish postponed a July 31st conservatorship hearing because Brit will be on vacay and not available for meetings. They can’t do the meetings without her ass? She just sits there, blows bubbles in her Frapp and writes “Mrs. Brit Brit Jean Pitt” over and over again. I’m sure her presence is not needed.

The Commish also granted permission for Daddy Spears to sell her Studio City house. WAIT! Is this the community where Ed McMahon lives?! His realtor bitch said they had trouble selling his house because Brit Brit brings all the paps with her and potential buyers don’t like that shit. Hooray! Now Pepaw can sell his crib and be out of the red…..hopefully.

The hospital where Jamie Lynn gives birth better put some cameras in the delivery room. You know Brit Brit is going to bust in on an ATV and snatch the baby! Naw, old Brit would have done that. New Brit will just look at Jamie and the baby and say, “Dang! Thet baba is homely jest like yo ass! OK! Magazine won’t even give you halfa bag of pawk rinds fo pitchers of that oogly monster! Blimey!”