Wino Did Good (Sort Of)

June 16, 2008 / Posted by:

Some eccentric Russian billionaire with a lot of money to burn paid Amy Wino $2 million to “perform” at the opening of his girlfriend’s gallery in Moscow. Surprisingly, Wino got on the plane in London! It’s a miracle! When they arrived in Moscow, a source told Rush & Molloy that she was in “no condition” to perform.

Oh! That’s how Wino always is. Just give her a quick bump, splash some ice-cold holy water on her face and tell her Blaaaake loves her or something like that. Wino was scheduled to take the stage at 10:30pm, but it took her whores at least 2 hours to get her hair together. They had to feed her crackhive and rock it to sleep, so it wouldn’t bother anyone during the show.

Wino finally stumbled onto the stage at 12:30am. She managed to get through the whole show. She drank Coke (a-cola), smoked on ciggies and gave the front row an extra show. A show you never want to see. Wino wasn’t wearing panties and her short dress kept exposing her crackgina. I think the people that were forced to look at that are still recovering in ICU.

The source said her “singing was a little wobbly.” What the hell did they expect? Celine fucking Dion? You ask for Wino and you’re going to get the voice of a possessed cat with a little heroin shake thrown in there.

Wino did a good job! She should reward herself with an ice pop and a battery acid facial.

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