M. Night Shamalamamama’s latest piece of cinematic caca is getting the kind of reviews that would even make flop-queen Nicole Kidman weep. I actually wanted to see “The Happening,” but then I accidentally read what the “natural disaster” in the movie is. I’m sorry, but I’ve coughed up loogies that sound more terrifying than this shit. Count me the fuck out.
M. Night claims he did this mess on purpose. He sought out to make a B-Movie. He told Reuters, “I wanted it to be a fantastic, fun B-movie. The No. 1 thing is I want people to say: ‘That was a really fun B-movie.”
B-movie? Does B stand for bullshit? On second thought, maybe I’ll sit through this crap and bring my best friend, Grey Goose, along for the ride. When I went to see “The Village,” I got drunk like a Tara Reid during the movie and I’ve never laughed so much in my life. Everyone in the theater wanted to do murder times to me, but who gives a fuck?