Madonna’s Brother Is Cashing In

I guess Madonna and her brother, Christopher Ciccone, don’t go to the same plastic surgeon. Madge should get him a facelift or a peel for Christmas. But something tells me she’s going to give him a cease and desist instead! You see, Chris is writing a tell-all on Vadge and it’s supposed to be “brutal.” The two donkeys apparently had a falling out a few years ago, so it’s not like he’s afraid of pissing her off.

The book is due out next month! Oooh! An early Birfday present for Madge. A source told Page Six, “It’s extremely graphic and devastating. He wrote it on the sly without telling Madonna. They want to put it out before her lawyers can get a hold of it.” Graphic and devastating? Does it have pre-photoshopped and up close pictures of her a-hole and vag? We’ve seen and heard it all.

Madonna’s rep didn’t comment, but you know the hit has already been put out. Shit, she could strangle him herself with her roid-tentacles.

Madge and Chris reportedly stopped talking after she married Guy Ritchie. Rupert Everett said Guy is “uncomfortable around queens.” WHAT?! He married the biggest homo of all! Guy practically married a gay pride parade.

Anyway, this is exactly why you don’t piss of your siblings. They have the shit on you and aren’t afraid to use it if you piss them off enough. Now I’m off to send my sister a condom basket and a “thank you for being a friend” card.

Thanks Kimberly