Amy Wino is expected to wow a crowd in Russia tonight with her dead cat singing voice and heroin shake moves. According to Reuters, Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich has hired Wino to perform at the opening of his girlfriend’s art gallery. Wino is reportedly being paid $2 million for the gig. He could’ve just paid her in horse hair and crack rocks.
Why in the helly hell would you want Wino to sing at your party? She’s only going to show up hours late, curse out your guests, dedicate every song to her “Blaaaake,” fall off the stage, sneak bumps in between each song and accidentally expose her vaginahive at least once. Wait, that sort of sounds like my aunt at every family Christmas party. Crazy Russian billionaire should’ve hired my aunt instead! She would’ve done it for free! She loves attention and borscht.
Below are some pictures of Wino looking sexy hot while handing out ice pops to the paps. Don’t take candy from a stranger and don’t take ice pops from Wino.