Blaaake Is A Dead Man

One of Blaaake’s cell mates told The Sun that he was offered $40,000 to beat the crack out of Dreamboat Doherty. Richard Lyttle said Blaaake was afraid that Wino and Dreamy were licking each other’s butts after he saw a couple of pictures of them together.

Richard said, “We were sitting in my cell and he said, ‘If you get Doherty for me I’ll give you £20,000.’ He kept saying, ‘Can you arrange it?’ and telling me to get some guys to his house. He knew the address. He said, ‘Amy’s obviously sleeping with him.’ He knew I used to be a doorman and knew some tough people. He said he wanted him smashed to pieces.”

When Richard was released from the chokey, Blaaake kept burning up his cell phone, begging him to beat down Dreamy. Richard finally reported him to the police, but they decided not to take any action.

If there wasn’t a delicious box of Teddy Grahams in front of me asking to be devoured, I’d immediately paddle my ass over to England and scratch the meth out of Blaaake’s face.

Blaaake is such a dumb dumb! If he really wanted to hit Dreamy where it hurts, he’d send over a baggie of coke spiked with vitamins and minerals. Dreamy would quickly go into a seizure. His body doesn’t know how to handle anything remotely nutritious! Shit, I just gave Blaaake an idea.

Thanks Stoney