The New Chestica?

June 3, 2008 / Posted by:

It took me a few seconds to realize this was not Jessica Simpson with cocker spaniel hair. It’s Eva LongWHORIA looking even more horrific. I know, I didn’t think it was possible either. Is Ken Paves doing make-up now, because some no-skill motherfucker went to town on her face. I think they used every shade in the “Abortion Face” collection from Wet ‘N Wild.

She looks like Tanya Mousekewitz from An American Tail dipped in Crisco. It’s going to take a whole lot of Dawn dish soap to get all that grease off her face.

Here’s Eva with Tony Parker at last night’s CFDA Awards in NYC. She got the award for “Greasiest Chicken Bone.”

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