Nick Hogan is the new Wonky McValtrex. This dumb bitch asked the court today to transfer him from solitary confinement to monitored home confinement until he turns 18 in July. Once he turns 18 he’s willing to serve his sentence in minimum-security.
Nick isn’t old enough for the jail’s minimum-security area, so he’s whining about how it’s unfair for him to be put in a small cell for 16 to 17 hours a day. Seriously, can’t they just put Bubba’s dick in Nick’s mouth to shut him up? There’s a Bubba in every jail. Trust.
His lawyers said that Nick’s “current confinement is neither fair nor acceptable and creates a mental and physical health risk to a seventeen year old.” Nick might be 17, but his hairline is 45.
Let’s see, 17 hours of being by myself in a little room or 17 hours of having a train ran on me? I’d take the latter, but there’s no way pansy Nick can handle it. He better stay in solitary if he knows what’s good for his ass.