I know Asshole’s the one carrying eyeliner baby, but Jessica looks like she’s holding something too. That dress from the Angelina Jolie maternity collection isn’t helping either. Seriously, Jess is the knocked up one and Ass is just pretending. Pete Wentz’s vagina jizz can’t make a baby! If Asshole’s baby doesn’t have a chin that sweeps the floor, we’ll know who the real daddy and mommy is.
In other Ass news, UsWeekly reports that she’s postponed her summer concer tour. Her rep said, “After careful consideration, Ashlee Simpson has decided to postpone her summer tour. She is committed to giving her fans the best show possible, and will be back better than ever and ready to rock in the future.”
Summer concert tour? Papa Joe is delusional! Where the hell was she planning on playing? Mini-mall parking lots and middle school cafeterias? The dumb bitch couldn’t sell out my bathroom. Besides, there’s already enough stinky shit in there. Badum-ching!