Angelina Jolie Will Shoot Your Ass

June 1, 2008 / Posted by:

The picture above is from that movie “Wanted,” so some of those tats aren’t real. I know you bitches will argue about that shit, so I’m just letting you know. Anyway, I thought Angie Jo was all about Kumbaya shit. Bitch is not as peaceful as she makes herself out to be. She told the Mail on Sunday that they keep guns in the house and she’s not afraid to use them.

She said, “If anybody comes into my home and tries to hurt my kids, I’ve no problem shooting them.” Damn. The bitch doesn’t need to worry! I’m sure Maddox could beat some ass Bruce Lee-style. The other kids will join in. They are like those bad kids from “Hostel.” Zahara and Pax will hold you down while Maddox shows you what’s what. Shiloh will record it for YouTube.

Angie went on to say, “I bought original, real guns of the type we used in Tomb Raider for security. Brad and I are not against having a gun in the house, and we do have one. And yes, I’d be able to use it if I had to. I could handle myself. I think there are certain combat skills that would come out. I tend to want to throw an elbow. I don’t know why. I’ve learned all the punches, head butts and kicks – yet getting someone with my elbow is my first instinct. I think it’s good for anybody to learn a skill when it comes to fight training – be it kung fu, boxing or kick-boxing – because self-defence is important. Brad and I want our kids to learn it. They’re going to get into a fight some day, so they might as well learn how to take care of themselves.”

There’s a side to me that people know is humanitarian, and there’s a side to me that’s a mummy. But there’s also the side that likes to get down and dirty and run and jump around and fire guns. I don’t want to lose touch with that.”

Whatever happened to hugging it out and holding a UN peace meeting to discuss your differences?

Angie doesn’t need to keep guns in the house. If someone messes with her ass, she just has to reveal her hypnotic vagina and the intruder will instantly be stunned. Gazing into Angie’s vagina is like gazing into Medusa’s eyes.

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