54-year-old Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer of Sweden claims to have been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years. Her surname translates into English as Berlin Wall. Clever. NOT.
Eija said she’s been diagnosed with a condition called Objectum-Sexuality. Basically, she likes to do sexay times with inanimate objects. She has never had sex with a human. She should try fucking any of the dudes on “The Bachelor.” They are as wooden as they come.
She first fell in love with the wall when she was just 7-years-old. She visited it 5 times before marrying it in 1979 in front of a few guests.
She said, “I find long, slim things with horizontal lines very sexy. The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.” I hope she covers her chocha in metal when she gets freaky with her man. I hear his dick is solid as a rock! No mortal vagina can handle it.
When the wall was torn down in 1989, Eija’s heart broke. She said, “What they did was awful. They mutilated my husband.” She still keeps models of her husband when he was in his prime.
This woman needs to meet the dude that has fucked 1,000 cars. They have a lot to talk about.
Visit her website to learn more