American Idol: It Finally Ends Tonight

May 21, 2008 / Posted by:

I can see the light. The end is here. We still have to sit through 50-hours of the finale show tonight, but then it’s done. FOREVER! Well, until the fall when the next season starts. At this point, it doesn’t matter which one of these drips wins. I had to down several Airbone and vodkas just to keep from drifting off into a Paula Abdul coma. These two wet bitches are so fucking boring! Both of them could be the new faces of Nytol. If you didn’t watch the show, don’t bother. Instead, pour yourself a bowl of Rice Krispies in milk and listen to it snap, crackle AND pop. You’ll get a better show. predicts that David Cook will win tonight. I still think that Fetus Archuleta is going to take it. The judges are so far up his asshole that they probably know in detail what his organs looks like. Randy Jackson basically gave Archuleta handjob after handjob last night. Archuleta would have cum, but I don’t think he’s capable of doing that. Shit, I don’t think he’s fully developed yet. His daddy better make sure he’s doubled up on the diapers tonight. When they announce him as the winner, he’ll probably wet his pants. He can’t help it, because he can’t hold it!

David Cook seems like he’s over this shit and I don’t blame him. I secretly hope he wins, but he won’t. The producers and judges have already decided Archuleta needs to win. It’s their gift to all the pedos that watch this mess.

The only way I can deal with tonight’s long ass finale is if Paula Abdul is in top form. Bring on the crazy Paula! The country needs you!

And what was up with the boxing theme last night? G-A-Y! They might as well have done an oil wrestling theme.

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