Ali Lohan Had It Rough

May 20, 2008 / Posted by:

Breaking news! 14-year-old (going on 45) Ali Lohan got made fun of at school once. Ali said that a group of girls made a video about her and put it on YouTube. Those girls are awesome. Well, they are.

She told People, “They used disgusting words. Like if my mom ever heard me say that stuff, I’d be grounded for life! … They’re disgusting kids. I got really aggravated.

Those “disgusting words” she’s talking about are probably part of White Oprah’s daily vocabulary. If White Oprah heard Ali say those words, she would probably pat her on the back and give her a congratulatory puff from the Lohan meth pipe.

Ali said the girls were suspended. She went on to say that she no longer has those problems, because she’s home-schooled. She said, “You learn so much more – it’s just hard to focus when girls are giving you problems. No one’s talking about you behind your back. It’s definitely easier.” And instead of getting gold stars for a job well done, you get shots of Tequila! Shit, why didn’t I go to The White Oprah School Of Hard Knocks And Tequila Shots.

Ali seems to think that only girls get made fun of, “I think it happens to all the other girls out there, because girls are just mean. It doesn’t happen with guys. When I asked [my little brother] Cody, he was like, ‘No, Guys don’t care!’

Oh Ali! Who knew a 45-year-old woman could be so naive?

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