What the hell is happening to my Adrien Brody! I blame that slut girlfriend of his! I knew I couldn’t trust her and her glistening bosoms. Dumb skank. It’s her fault that Adrien is quickly turning into the afghan hound of my nightmares! He needs to cut that grease mop and take a few globs of NADS to the pubes growing on his face. He looks like my high school band teacher who liked to massage his nipples in front of the whole class. Adrien, you can massage your nipples in front of me anytime. Just shave the face pubies first.
Here’s Young Yanni with skank girlfriend at the Indiana Jones premeire at Cannes today. It wouldn’t be an Indiana premiere without Shia LaDouche. I had a dream the other night that Shia asked me to marry him. I turned him down. Instead of crying and threatening suicide, he asked some twat next to me the same question. What a dickwad! LaDouche escored the lovely Karen Allen to tonight’s premiere. Where the hell has she been?
Natalie Portman was also there. Natalie is Natalie. She’s beautiful, but so fucking annoying.