An Asshole And A Vagina Got Married Yesterday

May 18, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Ashlee Simpson married Pete Wentz last night at her parent’s douche palace in Los Angeles. I know the ban on gay marriage was lifted in California, but I didn’t know we could get married already. That was fast. Congrats to these two homo tampons.

A spokesbitch told People, “We’re delighted to confirm that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were married this evening in front of family and close friends.”

Asshole wore a dress made out of toilet paper and Pete wore a tux made from guyliner. Papa Joe wore his lucky cock ring. Tony Romo wore a ball and chain aka Jessica Simpson.

Papa Joe also performed the ceremony (for real), Jessica was the maid of honor and Pete’s bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring-bearer. Guests included Tony Romo (he had no choice), Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.

Expect a pregnancy announcement in 3….2……

UPDATE: OK! reports that Asshole confirmed her pregnancy to everyone at the reception. Gross.

Tags: Ashlee Simpson, Buying Children, Hotness, Trash, Weddings

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