An Asshole And A Vagina Got Married Yesterday

May 18, 2008 / Posted by:

Ashlee Simpson married Pete Wentz last night at her parent’s douche palace in Los Angeles. I know the ban on gay marriage was lifted in California, but I didn’t know we could get married already. That was fast. Congrats to these two homo tampons.

A spokesbitch told People, “We’re delighted to confirm that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were married this evening in front of family and close friends.

Asshole wore a dress made out of toilet paper and Pete wore a tux made from guyliner. Papa Joe wore his lucky cock ring. Tony Romo wore a ball and chain aka Jessica Simpson.

Papa Joe also performed the ceremony (for real), Jessica was the maid of honor and Pete’s bulldog, Hemingway, was the ring-bearer. Guests included Tony Romo (he had no choice), Nicole Richie and Joel Madden.

Expect a pregnancy announcement in 3….2……

UPDATE: OK! reports that Asshole confirmed her pregnancy to everyone at the reception. Gross.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >