Not Pregnant, Just Bloated

May 16, 2008 / Posted by:

Brit Brit has been looking like she’s carrying a baba je’e in her belly, but her rep claims she’s not. Wait, she still has a rep? So that’s what London has been up to! London is working as Brit’s spokesbitch. It’s a good thing The Sun has a dog translator on staff. London said, “I want to make completely clear that Britney is not pregnant. There’s not going to be a statement – she’s just not.

A friend also told The Sun, “It’s a mix of water retention, unflattering clothes and people liking to analyze everything she does. Britney’s getting herself together slowly but surely and isn’t going to mess that up. She’s far too busy to even be thinking about a baby right now.”

Water retention? Like that bitch drinks water. Kool-Aid retention, maybe. I figured it was pill bloat. Let’s pray to the Gods above that Brit Brit isn’t knocked up. The world is not equipped for an Adnan/Brit Brit love child. I’m assuming the baby daddy would be Adnan, but it could be anyone. It could be Adnan, Mel Gibson, Doogie Howser, Sam Lutfi, Chester Cheetah or……London. London! How could you? Why did you give Britney the lipstick?! Why!?

Image: Fame Pictures

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