The Bachelor: It’s Shayne!

May 13, 2008 / Posted by:

Unfortunately, that’s not a huge cock she’s gasping at. It’s a measly engagement ring. Matt Grant proposed to Shayne Lamas on last night’s season finale of The Bachelor. Matt just wants to be a part of Hollywood royalty. HA! Wait, if Matt married Shayne (which he won’t), how will he be related to Shauna Sand? He really should have thought about this before he popped the question! Oh well, he still has Michelle Smith’s crooked face to look forward to seeing at holidays.

Matt dumped Chelsea and she was pissed. She called Shayne the “falsest person here.” If by “falsest,” she means “gorgeous, glamorous and husky” then I agree. Chelsea will get over it by munching on some beaver. I seriously got major lesbo vibes from her. She is not strictly dickly.

When it came time to propose to Shayne, Matt got down on one knee and said, “Monkey, will you marry me?” Shayne kind of gushed for the cameras and said yes. I’m surprised she didn’t ask the producer, “Where’s the good light? Which camera is on me? Can we do this again? I wasn’t crying enough! Get the glycerine!

She then told Matt, “I will marry you under one condition, that you will never look at another woman for the rest of our lives, because you have looked at way too many during our relationship.”

And that was that! I’m sure they already broken up and Shayne is negotiations to be the next Bachelorette. Fuck Shayne! Michelle Smith should be the next Bachelorette.

Clip of Shayne’s Emmy performance is below:

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