Almost Beaten By Ashton

May 11, 2008 / Posted by:

Speed Racer cost around $100 million to make and it only pulled in around $20.2 million this weekend. Cameron and Ashton’s douche fest “What Happens In Vegas” only made around $200,000 less. I can’t believe people are spending their hard-earned money to see those two tampons together in a movie. Those bitches would have to pay me and throw in a jumbo popcorn and some Red Vines. You know they don’t sell Red Vines at movie theaters in Manhattan? Tragic.

I feel like watching Speed Racer will bring back acid flashbacks that I don’t need in my life right now. Just watching the preview made me see little green elves and pink clouds.

Here’s the Top 10 weekend box office:

1. Iron Man – $50.5 million
2. Speed Racer – $20.2 million
3. What Happens In Vegas – $20 million
4. Made Of Honor – $7.6 million
5. Baby Mama – $5.8 million
6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall – $3.8 million
7. Harold and Kumar… – $3.2 million
8. The Forbidden Kingdom – $1.9 million
9. Nim’s Island – $1.3 million
10. Redbelt – $1.4 million

Fuck all these movies. I’m going to rent Alvin and the Chipmunks instead. That shit is best served with a fully loaded bong and a plate of Velveeta nachos.

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