Not since Danny Noriega was voted off “American Idol” have I felt so cheated! One of the greatest musical talents this
hour century, Chloe Lattanzi, did not win “Rock the Cradle” last night. This shit is fixed! Chloe was one of the three finalists along with Crosby Loggins and that douche with a mohawk. I forgot his name already. Crosby won. Zzzzzzzz. Chloe didn’t even shed a tear! I expected her puffer lips to quiver until her head flew away.
Chloe will go on to bigger and better things. She’s going to be a huge star in……Lithuania!
Brit Brit Spears was also in the audience to support Larry Rudolph who was one of the judges. I’m sure Brit Brit fell in love with Chloe’s talent the same way I did. They will create beautiful music together that will make hearing aids everywhere explode.
Below is Chloe’s duet with her mother, Olivia Newton-John. I think the stage was declared a disaster zone after that performance. I’m pretty sure that’s the last we’ll see of Chloe unless we move to Lithuania. I’m really tempted to do so. I can’t live without this puffer fish with a voice like burnt glass.