Michael Lohan Is Just Jealous

May 8, 2008 / Posted by:

Michael Lohan is totally jelly that he doesn’t have a “Father of the Year” plaque from the 99 cent store hanging over his broken radiator. White Oprah was honored for her superb parent skills by Mingling Moms earlier this week and Michael thinks it’s a joke.

He blasted off to Page Six about it, “Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court. She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling ‘Oh, [bleep],’ when she saw the paparazzi.”

Um…that’s exactly what a top celebrity mom does. I’m sure there’s a handbook somewhere that states you must come stumbling out of a club with bloodshot eyes, cursing at the paps at least once a week.

White Oprah pulled out the jelly card when she responded to Michael’s rant, “He’s jealous that I got the award. He even called the organizers and tried to talk them out of giving it to me.” The organizers probably responded with, “Sorry. We already cashed her check.” Take that Michael!

She also said she has a restraining order on his ass until 2011, but she’s afraid he will break the order by trying to contact her directly. “I’m getting nervous. Lindsay came to town two weeks ago and wanted security guys there in case he showed up. His parole officer needs to see what he’s doing and realize that he cannot address me directly or indirectly. He wears a tracking device and they’ll know if he comes anywhere near me. He’s on a mission to destroy me.

Paranoid much? Sweetie needs to lay off the white grains. It’s effing with her brains and her nose. Seriously, I could shove a Hummer up those nostrils.

Here’s some pictures of Mother of the Year, White Oprah, with her 35-year-old daughter at the Candies Foundation Benefit in NYC last night. Ali Lohan looks like she had a little filler put in, but I’m sure it’s natural. White Oprah put a little coke on her lips to plump them up a bit. There’s no way she’d let her daughter get injected with filler. She’s a top mom!

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