May 6, 2008 / Posted by:

ScarJo showed up to the MET’s Costume Institute Gala last night wearing her engagement ring from that hot bitch Ryan Reynolds. Ryan wasn’t there, so maybe ScarJo made this all up? Maybe Ryan tried to break up with her ass, but Ryan’s dick is so good that ScarJo wasn’t going to let him go. She locked him up in the closet and then announced her engagement. Have we seen Ryan lately? Good dick makes you do crazy things. Ask Mimi.

Oh well. Even if they are engaged, ScarJo will never be Alanis. Never! You know Ryan misses riding Alanis. I’m not talking about sex either. I’m talking about Ryan riding Alanis through the fields at sunset. The way she used to gallop…memories.

And ScarJo’s dress looked better on my sister when she wore it for her 3rd grade ballet recital. Okay, it was really me who wore it.

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