The Oldest Excuse In The Book

May 3, 2008 / Posted by:

I’ve watched at least 200 hours of “Cops” and I laugh every time a crackhead gets caught with some junk and says, “Oh, that shit ain’t mine.” They always say that shit. So it doesn’t surprise me to hear that Gary Dourdan claims the drugs he got caught with didn’t belong to him.

Gary was arrested for drug possession earlier this week in Palm Springs after cops found him asleep in his car. His car was parked on the wrong side of the road. They searched his car and found cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and some prescription dolls. Oh my!

Gary told Access Hollywood that he was coming back from the Coachella musical festival and he was a little drunk, so he pulled over to sleep. He went on to say, “I am blessed that the Sgt. realized that the luggage carrying whatever they found was not mine and that my tests have been coming back negative. I’ve been happy to cooperate in any way to clear myself and go on with my blessed life.”

He apologized to his young fans and said, “I am planning events to get the word out that you don’t need a bunch of nasty chemicals to have a good time. Just good friends, family, good music and a good honest spirit full of faith.”

You don’t need nasty chemicals to have a good time? Since when?!

And of course those bad drugs didn’t belong to Gary! The evil crack elf has struck again! I’m talking about the Olsens of course. That’s why they disappear for days at a time. They are busy planting evil drugs on the innocent.

VIA UsWeekly

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