Tom Cruise Welcomes You Into His House Of Lies

May 2, 2008 / Posted by:

I am so fucking disappointed. Oprah is getting a letter from me! Today, the first part of Oprah’s interview with Tommy Girl aired. First of all, Tommy Girl was so cool and calm the whole time. He must have had a good 3-hour session with his Xenu dildo, because he kept the crazy to a minimum. They talked about everything from Nicole Kidman to Scientology to Brooke Shields to Suri to KATE Holmes. Yeah, Oprah and Tommy kept calling her Kate. That’s her Alien Robot name.

UsWeekly has a bunch of quotes from the interview, but I learned nothing new. He answered everything correctly and made sure to not unleash the insanity completely. Oprah could have at least thrown him a curve ball and asked him how big John Travolta’s asshole stretched? Something!

AND Suri wasn’t even there!!! ILLEGAL!

The clip above is the first few minutes of the episode where Oprah arrives at Tommy Girl’s Telluride, CO estate. He is greeted by Tommy and Robot Kate. Katie only sticks around a little bit, but makes sure to say “I love you” like 3 times. There was a glitch in her programming. She was only supposed to say it once.

A chill went up my ass crack when Tommy showed Oprah Suri’s “little office” underneath the stairs. The things that go on in there…….. Hold me…I’m scared…

Seriously, Oprah better bring out the crazy from Tommy on Monday.

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