Valtrex Has A New Theme Song

April 30, 2008 / Posted by:

Wonky McValtrex’s love has inspired Benji Madden to write her a song. You know GlaxoSmithKline wants to buy that shit.

Wonky talked about this nauseating tune to People, “He surprised me with it. It’s called, ‘Shine Your Light.’ It’s this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me.” Wonky has forgotten about the time a dude drew a heart on her chest with his own sperm. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her. How soon she forgets.

She went on to chirp, “He’s my best friend. He’s just different from any guy that I’ve ever been with. I just trust him completely, and I know that he’d be there for me, no matter what.” Can’t you hear her saying that in a little girl voice? Will somebody please feed one of her warts after midnight, so that it can swallow her whole already.

Here’s Wonky and Boy Douche being gross yesterday.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >