Jordan As Elvira?!

April 27, 2008 / Posted by:

The other day I said Katie Price looks like a burnt-up Elvira. I guess I’m not the only one that thinks this, because she’s reportedly in talks to play Elvira in a new movie. The Daily Star reports that the original Elvira, Cassandra Peterson, has been in talks to do a remake of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark, but she doesn’t want to do it herself. Producers now want Katie Price to do it.

A source said, “It’s a very good time to be British in Hollywood and you can’t fail to notice Jordan – she knows how to shine.” The bitch only shines because of ten layers of fake tanner and a few dozen more layers of bronzer.

The source went on to say, “Everyone was at a loss until they spotted Jordan on a gossip website. She just looks perfect and then they discovered she has a penchant for one-liners. She will have to lose the tan, though. And Cassandra’s Elvira worked because of the mixture of her dark image and her Valley Girl wit – so Kate will have to learn an American accent.

Why the hell did I waste hours of my life on “The Search for the Next Elvira” if they aren’t even going to use the chick that won?

The Elvira movie is one of the biggest pieces of caca ever made, but I still can’t find the strength to turn the channel when it comes on late at night.

Here’s some pics of Katie, Princess Tiaaamamaiaia (however the hell her name is spelled) and the biggest homo in the world leaving Los Angeles for Florida on Friday night.

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