Somebody Slap Her!

Aliza Shvarts is the Yale University art major that claimed her senior project involved artificially inseminating herself often and then periodically inducing miscarriage with abortion drugs over a 9-month period. Shortly after this uplifting story hit, Yale University issued a statement claiming it was just “creative fiction.”

They said, “The entire project is an art piece, a creative fiction designed to draw attention to the ambiguity surrounding form and function of a woman’s body.” They said Aliza told them she never inseminated herself or took abortion drugs.

Aliza spoke to the Yale Daily News last night and said Yale is LYING. Grab my extra strait-jacket, because this bitch is certifiable.

Aliza said their statement was “inaccurate.” The dumb ho said she repeatedly used a needleless syringe to insert semen into herself. At the end of her menstrual cycle, she took abortifacient herbs to induce bleeding. She has no idea if she ever got pregnant. She also showed video clips from her project of her bleeding into a cup. Her project will be unveiled this Tuesday.

She went on to say, “No one can say with 100-percent certainty that anything in the piece did or did not happen, because the nature of the piece is that it did not consist of certainties.”

Hand this crazy bitch a cookie and then get her parents on the phone. I need to yell at them for dropping her too many times as a baby and not giving her enough attention.