Bret Michaels Hasn’t Found His True Love

April 14, 2008 / Posted by:

Bret Michaels was asked by the Associated Press if he found true love with his Rock of Love 2 pick, Ambre Lake. Before I tell you what the fuck he said, I want to let you know how hard it is for me to not type AMBER. It’s fucking AMBER not AMBRE. Does she pronounce it Ambreeeee? Her parents are probably dyslexic like me. I’ll get over it after a few slices of pizza. So….Bret answered, “I found someone who is really nice and cool and gets rock ’n’ roll. We can see when it goes from here.”

That means he’s dumped the old hag and hasn’t returned her calls. When asked why he started doing Rock of Love, he said, “I said this from day one: I went into this to have fun and maybe find someone to like. True love is not going to be found instantly on a TV show.” Not fucking true. Luke and Star Eyes Laura are the real deal. Yes, they came from a scripted soap opera, but it’s the love affair of our time.

Bret said he isn’t sure if they are doing a Rock of Love 3, but he is working on dumbass reality show called “Bret Michaels Big Rock Road Show” which is about rockers on the road.

He also gave the answer to the 10 cent question of the day. What is under that bandanna? “My hair is combined of my hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer. I do the show without it on all the time and they wont film me. They are like, “Put your bandanna back on. It is your image.” It is my signature thing. ” Europe like a motherfucker. He buys that shit at Sally’s Beauty Supply.

They tell him to put the bandanna back on, because he makes the whores cry if he doesn’t. Nobody likes a crying whore. Seriously, that shit is sad.

Image: Vh1 Blog

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