This Is Depressing

April 11, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Parade Magazine’s annual “What People Earn” issue is out and it was basically created to remind us how poor we are. I will think of Miley Cyrus’ millions when I’m eating my 25 cent Top Ramen and popcorn dinner. It will make my dinner taste that much grosser. I shouldn’t say that. Top Ramen mixed with buttered popcorn is so damn delicious.

Oprah once again topped the list. They should just stop counting her. The woman needs her own currency or something. Better yet, they should just put “Richer Than Fuck” next to her name on these kind of lists. No dollar amount required.

Here’s the complete list of what some skanks earned in 2007 and don’t even ask me how dumb fuck Dr. Phil earned that much money. Brit Brit must have signed over her fortune to him.

Oprah Winfrey: $260 million
Tiger Woods: $115 million
Steven Spielberg: $110 million
Dr. Phil McGraw: $90 million
50 Cent: $33 million
Gisele Bundchen: $33 million
Miley Cyrus: $18.2 million
Mary-Kate Olsen: $17 million
Ryan Seacrest: $12 million
Trouble (Leona Helmsley’s dog): $12 million
Eli Manning: $11.5 million
Katherine Heigl: $11 million
Jeff Foxworthy: $10 million
Jessica Alba: $9 million
Mariska Hargitay: $7 million
Carrie Underwood: $7 million
Scarlett Johansson: $5 million

The only bitch on this list that deserves all their money is Trouble! The hot bitch has been through a lot and deserves to spend the rest of her days getting anal exfoliation while sipping on filet mignon juice.

I wonder if Miley gives all her money to Jesus, because you know that she makes all her money FOR Jesus. She does everything for Jesus!

Source: UsWeekly

Tags: I Don't Like Jokes

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