This Bitch Makes $15 Million A Year?!

April 10, 2008 / Posted by:

CBS is actually paying $15 million to this woman? I’m sure I’ve heard this before, but my initial shock blocked it out forever. It sucks for CBS, because that money is not paying off. Ratings at the CBS Evening News are in the gutter. CBS should make another visit to Katie Couric’s colon. We haven’t seen it in so long and we’ve been wondering what it’s up to. Probably the same old shit, but you know.

The Wall Street Journal reports that Katie might be let out of her contract early. That shit is up in 2011. CBS has denied all of this. Katie started at CBS in 2006. Ratings during her opening week were good, but then they quickly fell. She’s in third place behind the others.

The Washington Post claims Katie might be given a spot on 60 Minutes or possibly her own talk show instead of continuing to anchor the Evening News. If that doesn’t work, CBS is willing to let the bitch go on her merry way.

I don’t like her on the news, because I don’t like the news period. I did like her on “Today” though. Don’t hit me! I can’t help it, but she was kind of lovable. I loved her the way that I love my eccentric aunt that’s really into squirrels. Like reaaaaallly into squirrels in an unhealthy way. NOT IN A SEX WAY. You are so damn raunchy. Everything is sex to you! Wait…how would you go about having sex with a squirrel exactly? It can put two nuts in its mouth at the same…STOP! Enough. I gotta go drink more coffee.

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