Do Not Mess With Chuck Norris

April 9, 2008 / Posted by:

Two teenage boys from Pennsauken High School in New Jersey were arrested after a teacher found a hit list the boys made. Get this shit. Chuck Norris was one of the people on the list. Police said the list also contained the names of 3 students and a staff member. The boys claim it was just a joke. NO! You don’t joke about killing Chuck Norris. You really don’t. Here are some Chuck Norris Facts to prove that you don’t eff with him:

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
Chuck Norris doesn’t throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

What the hell was The Norris doing on that list anyway? “Walker, Texas Ranger” was a shitty show, but you don’t have to kill anyone for it.

I seriously don’t even know what’s going on in this world anymore. Our world is turning into the Lord of the Flies. Our modern teenagers are going crazy. I watched that video yesterday of the 6 girls in Florida who beat down that 1 girl and wanted to put it on YouTube and it just kind of got to me. I mean, when I was that age, we were making sex tapes not beat down tapes! Make love not war.

It’s time to put an end to reproduction. Seriously. No more.

Thanks Kelly

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