Asshole’s Engaged!

April 9, 2008 / Posted by:

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz just announced their engagement. Try not to roll your eyes too much or they’ll stay that way forever. Asshole posted this message on the Friends or Enemies website:

We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes – it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us.”

Papa Joe confirmed to People and said he’s “totally happy” and “so excited to have Pete as part of (our) family.” You know that man is crying inside. At least he still has Jessica. Nobody’s going to marry her annoying ass unless he pays them. Papa Joe probably coordinated this shit. Ashlee does have a new album coming out soon. Publicity stunt!

Her maid of honor is totally going to be a flat iron and his best man is going to be black eyeliner.

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