Don’t Eff With Clooney’s Property

George Clooney tried to track down a man that had left a message on his voicemail about girlfriend Sarah Larson. Clooney told the New Yorker (via P6) that the mystery caller urged him to dump Sarah. The caller said, “Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you’re sorry!”

Renee Zellweger...was that you?! I bet the caller had a squint in his voice.

With the help of his rent-a-cop driver, Clooney tracked down the number to a pre-paid cellphone. He tried to find out if the cellphone was paid with a credit card, but the trailer went dead. Some Danny Ocean!

Sarah said that she’s been bashed left and right for dating Clooney, “They say that I’m a stripper. There’s a ton of stuff about that. I’ve never been a stripper. You know, just because I’m from Las Vegas, I must be a stripper. Because I’m a cocktail server, that means I’m an escort.”

Wah…wah….wah….deal with it bitch! Sarah needs to buy a pair of nuts and answer these questions with, “I’m sucking Clooney dick and you’re not, so shut the fuck up!” Handle it Sarah!

Tommy McKaughan better watch his ass! Clooney might be coming for him next. Tommy spoke to the NOTW about his past relationship with Sarah Larson. He talked about how she “bewitched him with nude sex in the woods” and how she “rubbed special potions all over his body.” She’s the Blair Witch!