Kathleen Turner Lied To All Of Us!

April 4, 2008 / Posted by:

Remember that magical story Kathleen Turner told about Nicolas Cage stealing chihuahuas? Well, she lied. Kathleen’s lawyer admitted today in a London court that she lied about it. The Daily Mail printed the story from an excerpt from Kathleen’s autobiography. They also issued an apology.

Kathleen also lied about Nic being arrested twice for drunken driving.

Kathleen and the Daily Mail agreed to pay Nic’s legal fees and make a donation to a charity of his choosing. Nic’s lawyer said the claims “caused damage to the claimant’s personal and professional reputation.

Who lies about shit like that? I must believe that there is some truth to it. We need to set Nic up, so we can clear Kathleen’s name. We can gently lay JLo’s twins outside Nic Cage’s house and wait until he takes the bait!

Every time I see a picture of Kathleen Turner, I hear her saying,” Is this the Cocksucker residence? Is this 4215 Pussy Way? Now let me check the zip code. Two-one-two-fuck-you?”

Bitch should have won 10 Oscars for that shit


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