Cleavage and a pearl necklace! What a dirty, dirty slut! The Daily Mail ran this little diddy about Lauren Bacall showing off a little bit of her 83-year-old tatas. They seem to think this is a fashion blunder. How? The bitch has boobs and she’s not afraid to show them. This woman could go around naked with nothing but a labia ring and Crocs and I would still love her. Yes, even if she wore Crocs. That’s true love.
Actually, I don’t think I’d want to see her lady biscuit. When I was little, I once glanced at my abuelita getting dressed. It was like staring at the Grand Canyon. You know it’s real, but it doesn’t look real. You throw a coin in and you don’t hear a sound. Oh shit! I can’t believe I’m going there with my abuelita’s vagina business. I need to punish myself with two hours of “Father Dowling Mysteries” and a cold clam soup dinner.
Here’s that hot GILF Lauren at the Broadway premiere of “Gypsy” the other night. Since we’re on the topic of hotness, I threw in a little Chris Burke. He was there supporting his former “Life Goes On” co-star, Patti Lupone. Obla-dee obla-da!