Jessica Lange Is All Natural

March 27, 2008 / Posted by:

Above is a picture of Jessica Lange from 2003 (on the left) and a picture from last month. Jessica has fired back at the National Enquirer for insinuating that she’s had plastic surgery. The Enquirer brought in a plastic surgeon to examine recent pictures of Jessica. The surgeon talked about her “overly arched brows” and catwoman-like face.

Jessica’s rep said, “It’s absolutely not true. And Jessica will not comment on it because it’s not true.”

How dare the Enquirer even think Jessica would do such a thing! Don’t they know that aging Hollywood actresses never get work done. It would fuck with their craft! They should apologize right away and send a custom build-a-bear for upsetting her.

Jessica is just a superhuman. She was given these powers after her hot ass performance in “All That Jazz.” Most woman’s eyebrows tend to fall as they age, but since Jessica is a superhuman, her eyebrows get closer to God. Her eyebrows will be 6-inches above her head in about 10 years.

Seriously, Jessica needs to stop with the lie telling.

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