Maury Is Fucked

March 26, 2008 / Posted by:

Look at this trash right here. I thought buying Pepto-Bismol was humiliating. A take-home DNA test went on sale Tuesday at 4,363 Rite Aid drug stores throughout the United States, except for New York. Yeah, because we’re all innocent virgins here who use condoms and know who fathered our babies.

The DNA test costs $29.95 and it contains a swab, a consent form and an envelope. The swab is used to collect saliva from baby, mommy and possible daddy. You then mail the swab to a lab for an additional $119. It takes 3 to 5 business days to get your results by mail, email or their online service.

The bitch who put this shit out said, “This is for people who are just curious. It is peace of mind for people who want to know but do not want to involve a physician or an attorney. They might want to know the paternity of their child or their own paternity so they can rely on family medical history.”

No, the kit is for straight-up SLUTS! The kit has already been a hit in California, Washington and Oregon where it went on sale in November.

Of course it’s a hit in California. Most of those whorebag celebrities are probably using it. I’m talking to you Jamie Lynn.

Maury better get on this shit right away! It’s fucking with his business. This test might tell you who the father of your child is, but it sounds so much more official when it comes from Maury.

Source

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >