“Eveeeerrrrrryyy timmmeeeeee I turn around! I see the girl that turns my world around!” Punky Brewster aka Soleil Moon Frye gave birth to her second child, a
boy GIRL (I wrote boy before! Need more coffee), in Los Angeles yesterday. Punky has named her a boy’s name, Jagger Joseph Blue Goldberg. That’s a lot of name. Punky and her husband, Jason Goldberg, already have a daughter named Poet Sienna Rose Goldberg.
If the couple have a third child, that kid’s third name will totally be chartreuse. Well, they like colors. I actually don’t mind the name Jagger, because it makes me think of JAG which makes me think of David James Elliott and he’s sort of hot. It’s still a boy’s name, but maybe she’s planning to give her a sex change later on in life. It pays to plan ahead.
Soleil could have at least used the name “Brandon” somewhere in her new daughter’s name. Brandon was the hottest friend a kid could have. She also should have used the name “Cherry” somewhere. Cherry was always my favorite, because she didn’t give a fuck! Honestly, you must not give a fuck if you wear skinny belts on your head. The best Cherry moment was when they played hide-and-seek and that bitch hid in the backyard refrigerator and almost died!
I am leaving you with the show’s theme song in hopes that it infiltrates your brain and stays there all day long.
P.S. – Soleil’s husband’s head is HUGE. He’s going to crush her head. Sexy.