Heather Mills Is Officially A Rich Bitch And She Still Won’t Shut The Hell Up

March 17, 2008 / Posted by:

Heather Mills won $50 million in her divorce settlement from Paul McCartney today and she still won’t shut the fuck up! Heather spoke to reporters outside the court and went on and on. Somebody shove her prosthetic foot in her mouth.

Heather insisted that the only reason she’s speaking out was because Paul insisted the entire judgment be published. She said, “I am so, so happy. I’m so glad it’s over, it was an incredible result in the end to secure mine and my daughter’s future and that of all the charities that I obviously plan on helping and making a difference with – because you know it has been my life for 20 years. Obviously the court do not want a litigant in person to do well, it’s against everything that they ever wish, so when they write the judgment up they’re never going to make it look in favour. I am appealing against the publication of the judgement because it has so many private details about me and my daughter.”

The only thing Paul said to reporters was, “All will be revealed.” I can’t wait! I hope they publish it in paperback, because it would make the best summer reading.

The judge decided Paul must pay Heather a lump sum of $33 million. She was also awarded $15 million in existing assets. The judge also said she had overspent around $1 million during their two year separation. Paul’s fortune has previously been estimated at $1.7 billion, but the judge found he’s worth about half that. Paul will also pay nanny and school fees for his daughter as well as $70,000 a year.

Something tells me this isn’t the last we’ll hear of Heather Mills! Yoko Ono is loving this shit. She will probably send Heather some flowers with a note saying, “Thank you for replacing me as the worst thing to ever happen to the Beatles.”

Paul has also learned the expensive way that a pre-nup can be your best friend.

Source: The Sun

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