Dirty Birdies

March 17, 2008 / Posted by:

Matthew McConaughey knew Camila Alves was the girl of his drams when he found out that she can go a week without showering. Matthew is serious about his stank! He has admitted that he hasn’t used deodorant for 20 years. One of Camila’s business partners, Pamela DePalma, told InTouch (via Celebitchy), “He said he finally met a girl who can go without a shower for a week – someone he can go mountain climbing and hiking with. Camila is incredibly easygoing.”

In Camila’s defense, there’s no point in showering regularly if you’re fucking McConaughey. Why bother? You’re back to being stanky the minute he puts his hands on your body. I just hope they clean off the baby jelly when she gives birth. McConaughey is probably going to rub it all over his body. His crazy ass probably thinks it will bring him closer to the baby.

I’ve tried to go a few days without showering, but it’s impossible. I’ve been programmed to show every single day. Besides, the shower is the only place I can cry in peace for all the sins I committed the night before. There’s something cleansing about weeping while hot water is pouring down your back.

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