David Beckham still plays soccer for the L.A. Galaxy. I forget about that every now and again. Becks is seen here protecting his dick from a free kick during a game last night.
I think I found my calling. Why should Becks and the other dudes have to worry about protecting their own shit? I can do it. Their big head should be on the game while their little head is in my hand. I would be the best dick protector of all-time. I think I would go down in history. A hurricane, tornado and earthquake could hit at once and that dick would be as healthy as ever. Hell, Brit Brit Spears could attack me with an umbrella and I would still keep a gorilla’s grip on that shit. And I would do it all with a smile! I need go down there and fill out an application STAT!