True Love

Parasite Hilton and Benji the Hunted’s bowel movement and pussy hole rings have nothing to do with Ashton Kutcher’s “Pop Fiction” punk show. Paris called into Ryan Seacrest’s show on KIIS and said their relationship is not a hoax. She said the ring was a gift from Benji. He’s as lame as she is. No wonder Hilary Duff wouldn’t wrap her horse teeth around his dick.

Paris went on to say,“I feel very safe and secure. He’s a great guy. He’s been my friend for a couple of years now, and we’re really happy. This is not for Pop Fiction. It’s not a hoax!”

Paris darling, sweetheart, pussykins, your entire life is a fucking hoax. It’s a joke on the entire world for all the bad things we’ve ever done. If Eve never ate that apple we would have never been punished with Paris Hilton. That’s the truth.

And I can’t talk about Benji the dog without posting a clip from the movie. This is a truly beautiful moment when Benji learns that not all pussy is grouchy.