John Mayer Confuses Me

March 8, 2008 / Posted by:

John Mayer wrote a blog the other day to an “ex lover” where he told them to stop calling his ass and that he didn’t want them in his life anymore. You can click here to read the original post. Many thought John was talking about Chestica Simpson, because we know how annoying she can be. It would make sense.

John has taken to his blog again to clear up his original post.

The blog – copied from my lyric/idea journal, is all about the P.S. – it’s a writing technique called “deceptive resolution”; you think the story is going one way, only to find that it twists around at the end, using all its momentum to swing in another direction. In this instance, the writer of the missive is saying in as many certain terms as possible that he does not want to see his ex anymore. At the end, the P.S. leaves that all too common contradiction in terms that makes love so messed up. I call it “I wish you were here so I could tell you to leave”.

This actually has some pretty far-reaching ramifications. How will I write an entire record of lyrics when one small blog passage incites so much curiosity? Can I write a song because of somebody but not about them? By way of my experiences but not as a sordid retelling of them? Because if I can’t, I need to rewrite the last line to my new song “Boning you on my helicopter”.

Huh? I don’t think John even knows what he’s saying. John, next time just save of us all the trouble and preface your posts with “don’t pay attention to any of this, because I am a douche tool.” It would make things so much clearer. I must admit that the part of boning in his helicopter sort of made it tingle.

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