Staying Together For The Cameras

March 4, 2008 / Posted by: Michael K

Rachael Ray (Ugh, can I just call her Rachel? Fuck!) has adamantly denied that her marriage to John Cusimano sucks. The National Enquirer (via MSNBC) claims the bitch is lying. Sources tell them that her marriage will be over by the end of the year. EV OH NO! Sorry, I had to.

They went to visit her family over Christmas and it was apparent Rachael couldn’t stand his ass. A source said, “When they arrived, John stayed outside for 15 minutes. When he finally came into the house, Rachael acted like he wasn’t even there. She even closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to meet his gaze!”

They also didn’t sleep together. Rachael made him sleep in the cat’s bed. “He was sent off to sleep in a little upstairs loft that’s normally where one of Rachael’s mother’s cats sleeps.” That’s probably the most pussy he’s gotten in a while.

I’m sorry, but it’s pretty hard for a straight marriage to work when both of you like to suck dick. I shouldn’t say that. Gay Al and Star Jones have lasted much longer than I thought without some kind of gay scandal. It’s pretty depressing. I bet you John and Gay Al meet up at the local glory hole while their wives are at work.

You can tell John can’t stand her ass! He even wears headphones wherever he goes, so he doesn’t have to listen to her annoying ass!

Tags: Boring Couples, Fake Asses

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