Broadway Has Gone To The Rats!

February 29, 2008 / Posted by:

UsWeekly reports that Nicole Richie is considering moving her entire family to NYC to perform on the Great White Way. Nicole is in talks to play the role of Roxie Hart in “Chicago.” This isn’t Nicole’s first try at Broadway. She auditioned for a role in “Rent” a few years ago, but got turned down.

A source said, “It would give her a reason to really show her talent and to stay in the new place in NY Joel just got. It also shows people are really excited about Nicole right now.” Who are these people that are excited about Nicole right now? Show them to me, because I’d like to kick them in the knees.

Nicole Richie would join a long list of no-talent skeezas who have already performed in the show. Asshole Simpson, Kelly Osbourne, Lisa Rinna, Melanie Griffith, Robin Givens and Rita Wilson have all performed in it at one time or another. I hear Melanie was particularly painful.

Let’s see…give the role to someone who has actually worked their whole life for this or give it to someone who is famous for being the best friend of the world’s most famous hooker? That’s a tough one. The sad part is, I’d probably pay to see her. Well, I like seeing people fail. It’s the best temporary cure for low self-esteem!

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