Orlando Bloom Stinks

February 27, 2008 / Posted by:

Orlando Bloom is currently dating model Miranda Kerr, but Star Magazine claims that something is keep the relationship from moving forward and it’s Orlando’s stank. A source told the mag, “Miranda thinks Orlando is too smelly. Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often. He’ll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks.

Orlando also sleeps with his dog and lets her slobber all over him. She’s probably licking up the dick butter. Orlando is apparently upset with Miranda’s demands and doesn’t think the relationship will last. Yeah, me neither. If she can’t handle a little shit nugget in the undies, she’s obviously not the one.

It’s surprising to hear that Orlando embraces his inner Keanu Reeves, because I pictured him for one of those dudes that loved bath salts, body scrubs and a little scented oil under his foreskin. Miranda needs to learn how to breath through her mouth. Some of the stankiest dudes make the best fucks. Trust me, I grew up in California with the skaters and their idea of keeping clean was picking their scabs off.

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