We Are Due For Another Meltdown

Every single Starbucks in the country will shut down today from 5:30pm to 9pm local time to conduct in-store training. The HBIC of Starbucks said, “We will close all of our U.S. company-operated stores to teach, educate and share our love of coffee, and the art of espresso. And in doing so, we will begin to elevate the Starbucks Experience for our customers. We are passionate about our coffee. And we will revisit our standards of quality that are the foundation for the trust that our customers have in our coffee and in all of us.”

Sounds like 3 and a half hours of non-stop fun. This is the time when Starbucks employees learn how to sleep with their eyes open. I already mastered that art in traffic school.

Quick! Tell Daddy Spears to give Brit her sedative during these hours. She’s been so good lately and this will definitely send her over the edge again. She’ll start foaming frapp from the mouth and go on a rampage in search for anything frapp. Frappzilla!

Dunkin’ Donuts has decided to take advantage of Starbucks shutting down and they are offering 99 cent Lattes today. Too bad that shit tastes like anal sac fluid. Yes, I know what anal sac fluid tastes like. Long story….

Thanks Jen for the tip