Naomi Campbell has been hospitalized in Sao Paulo, Brazil for some mysterious infectious disease. The hospital’s office told AP that she’s being treated by one of the country’s top specialists. She had a small cyst removed and flew all the way from London just to have it done. Cyst is Naomi-talk for fat. Lipo!
The hospital said, “The patient and her advisers have determined that the hospital’s medical staff will not issue any formal or informal information on her medical condition.”
All this mystery! Hmm…I wonder what this mysterious infectious disease could be? Syphilis? Severe Diarrhea? Hep? WAIT! Was she drinking heptinis at Ashton Kutcher’s Birthday party? I’m sure it’s nothing. Just hand the crazy bitch a bedazzled Blackberry to throw at some scared and innocent nurse. She’ll feel ten times better. You can’t keep a crazy bitch down.