Aniston’s Frozen Eggs

Star Magazine claims 39-year-old Jennifer Aniston has put her eggs in the freezer while she waits for the right dude. Right next to the Ben and Jerry’s. A source claims Jen was feeling the pressure to get knocked up and start a family, so now with her eggs on ice she can take her time.

The source said, “It was a really smart move, because it buys (Jen) a few years to figure it all out. The pressure has lifted. “(Jen’s) absolutely doing the right thing. She’s giving herself a big break from the intense pressure to find Mr. Right and have kids. She’s in a good place now.”

Jen’s friend, Sheryl Crow, told her to adopt a baby instead, but Jen wants to have her own kid. Jen’s rep denies the story. I laugh at it.

Jen just can’t catch a fucking break in the weeklies. She will always be a wrinkled, desperate woman who hates Angelina Jolie and really wants a man. I have some advice for Jen. Just become a dyke already. It’s the next natural step. The tabloids are going to report it soon, so you might as well beat them at their own game.