John Mayer Must Value His Health

Paris Hilton doesn’t get everything she wants. Page Six reports that at Sony’s Grammy party Paris tried desperately to get John Mayer to pay some attention to here. Witnesses say she was “following him around and dancing, trying to get him to look at her.” She danced for him? That was her first mistake. The people in “The Sims” dance sexier than her wonk ass.

A witness said that he kept ignoring her, so she stepped it up. “At one point, she sat at a table and tapped on the seat to motion him to sit next to her. John politely sat for less than a second before ignoring her and moving to chat with a group of friends.” John must have not paid his premium this month. I’m surprised to learn that Paris’ pick-up tactics are kind of demure. I would expect her just to go up to a dude and immediately sit on his face.

Paris also wasn’t having a good time a few nights before. She reportedly got into a bitch fight with Lindsay Lohan. The two desperately want to work with Timbaland and were fighting over him at a pre-Grammy party. They think Timbaland could “revive” their music careers. I don’t think the dude from “Pushing Daisies” could even revive their shitty ass careers.

Lindsay shouted to Paris, “What the hell is that bitch doing here? I didn’t know she was on the list.” Paris responded with, “Fuck off, you bitch!” Tres Mean Girls. I think everyone in the joint then shouted, “Fuck both you bitches!”