Gary Coleman’s Secret Wedding!

40-year-old Gary Coleman has revealed to Inside Edition that he’s secretly married to 22-year-old Shannon Price. OMG! She’s Phoebe Price’s long-lost sister!

If nobody cares, is it still considered a secret? In an interview airing today and tomorrow Gary said the two married in Nevada on August 28, 2007. They met on the set of one of his movies. STOP RIGHT THERE. I think it’s more shocking that Gary was in an actual movie.

Gary said that he’s 4’8″ and she’s 5’7″ and it doesn’t matter. Shannon said, “He was ten feet tall to me because he was sweet and I really liked his personality. That doesn’t really matter to me.”

Get this shit. Shannon said they kept their marriage a secret, because she didn’t want to be known as Gary Coleman’s wife. Gary said, “I wouldn’t want that in a million years. I wouldn’t want you to be known as Gary Coleman’s wife. I hope you do get successful. She’s a great e-Bayer. She’s a fabulous e-Bayer. I hope she gets famous for that.” Oh shit! So she’s the one that’s making him put his autographed Gap Kids sweat pants on Ebay. I knew she had ulterior motives.

The two have also confessed that the honeymoon stage of their marriage has passed. Shannon said their relationship is on-and-off and they fight all the time. Gary said they even got into a fight the morning of their Inside Edition interview. He said, “I threw the printer because my agent wanted to send me a fax, and it wouldn’t fax, and she [Price] was upset at me over something that I had done. And I just took that printer and said, ‘You know what, you just need to die.’” He can pick up a printer? Shannon said she has had to call the police on his small ass several times.

She said, “He actually got a disorderly conduct ticket one time because we had gotten into an argument, just a minor argument in Provo. The guy gave him a ticket and he freaked out and he was on six months probation…He had to go take an anger management course.” Why is Shannon so freaked out? If he gets out of check, she just has to kick him and he’ll go flying.

Shannon is an eBay digger! She’s going to eBay him out of house and home. Since he doesn’t have any money, she’s gotta get hers somehow. She’s going to put him on eBay next. That’s if she doesn’t accidentally eat him with those huge chompers of hers.

Aren’t they a sweet couple? They will be divorced by March.